Not everything I write has pictures. You have to use your imagination a little. This post is meant to be somewhat humorous, and if you know me, you will be able to appreciate it even more. if you don't know me personally, well then perhaps you will have a greater impression of who southern folks are and what we're about. This is a re-write of an article I wrote for The Mountain Breeze a few years ago.
Most folks who know me, and I mean
really know me, know that I am pretty proud of the fact that I am a native
Rutherford Countian, North Carolinian, and bona-fide Southerner. I believe in saying what you mean and meaning
what you say, and I generally say it with an appreciable accent (some things
you just can’t get rid of, not that I’ve ever really tried of course). Most of the time in my little column in The Mountain Breeze I try to write about
nature or environmental related topics, but I felt this time a change of pace
might be nice. Sometimes it’s nice to
sit back and reflect on what makes a person tick, and a lot of times, looking
at where we come from can provide a huge insight into who we are as people and
why we feel the way we do about things.
Even the way we talk makes impressions on people (often
inaccurately). Let me give you an
example of what I’m talking about.
When my
wife and I got married, we honeymooned in Maui. What an experience! We embraced the Hawaiian culture while we
were there and had a wonderful time, but a funny thing happened to us before we
came home. We were sitting in the
airport in Maui, waiting to catch a flight over to Honolulu
where we would get on another plane to come back to the continental U.S. There were a lot of students in the
airport. Apparently schools in Hawaii do
field trips to different islands (how fun would that be) and this particular
group of middle school students had come over to Maui for the day to learn
about the island. Anyway, Chasitty and I
were just sitting there talking while we waited to board the plane and I
noticed this young lady kept watching us very closely and appeared to be
eavesdropping. Well, I just kind of
casually smiled at her, sort of acknowledging that I knew she was listening to
us (I didn’t care, as we weren’t discussing top secret information or anything). At that point, she interrupted our
conversation and said, “Excuse me, but I was wondering where you are
from?” I told her we were from North
Carolina. She
replied, “You mean on the mainland?” I
said yes and explained that we were in Hawaii
for our honeymoon. She said, “I have
never heard anyone talk the way you do.”
Of course I laughed. She then
commented that we must be rich since we came from so far away, to which I
commented that if she was referring to financial wealth then I hated to burst
her bubble. She said that most of the
mainlanders that visit are typically pretty wealthy, which I am sure is
probably the case, however it was very interesting to see how a perception
could be made based on my accent and use (or misuse depending on how you look
at it) of the English language.
My accent
is something that I cannot escape. When
I worked at Chimney Rock
Park, the World Botanic Congress
had its annual meeting at the Grove Park Inn.
One of their scheduled field trips was to the Park. This was a pretty prestigious thing as
botanists and researchers from all over the world were attending this
conference. Anyway, my job was to give a
slide presentation and guided hike for the attendees. World-renowned botanist and curator of the Missouri
Botanical Garden, Dr. Peter Raven
was on the field trip and was standing in
the back of the room as I proceeded to give my presentation. Dr. Raven is also a close friend of the Morse
Family, the former owners of Chimney Rock
Park. As my southern drawl was very apparent to
folks, I warned them as I began my presentation that they would have to excuse
my pronunciation of the Latin names of the plants that we would be seeing
because I speak Southern Latin. Lu
Morse, who was standing in the back of the room with Dr. Raven, was drinking a
bottle of water and nearly drowned as he tried to keep water from spurting out
of his mouth. Dr. Raven thought it was
hilarious as did the rest of our international guests. It certainly helped ease the tension of
speaking to world-renowned botanists.
On a ski
trip to Quebec, Canada
I got an opportunity to impress a French-speaking Quebecois shopkeeper. I was doing my best to blend into the
French-Canadian culture so as not to come off with the “ugly American” attitude
that we are so often guilty of. Our
little group was trying to speak French where we could and to try to be
mannerly and so forth. Well, my French
is virtually non-existent and I was learning phrases on the fly. We were in this shop and I saw some Inuit
moccasins that I really liked and decided to buy. I was trying to ask the store owner how much
the moccasins were in French. He gave me
the price in English and smiled at me.
So I said, “Merci,” and he asked me (in English) where we were
from. Tired of abusing the French
language, the southern came forth as I explained we were from North
Carolina down in the southern U.S. He laughed, and said that he knew I didn’t
sound like anyone else that he had met from the U.S. He was very interested in North
Carolina, particularly the geography so I had a good
time explaining to him what western North Carolina
was like and so forth. He and I both
came away with a wonderful experience of cultural enlightenment.
Another
time at Chimney Rock, I was working in the “Booth” at the tunnel entrance. This was before my days as Park
Naturalist. My best friend Justin, who
also worked at the Park, was running the elevator and had just brought a couple
of young ladies from Michigan
down. They were apparently going on and
on about the way Justin talked. Without
missing a beat, Justin tells them, “You think I talk funny, you ought to hear
that short, stubby fellow at the end of the tunnel!” He then hollered down the tunnel, “TALK
FOR ‘EM CLINT!” So, what did I do? I did what any other southern gentleman would
do. I gave the best southern impression
that I could by giving them what they wanted:
an earful of southernism.
One of the
great things about living in the South is all of the great “sayin’s” and
colloquialisms that are part of the everyday lexicon. The southern dialect is almost poetic in
nature due to the phrasing and the use of simile and metaphor in our
speech. We can always come up with
something to compare something else to. Unfortunately,
much of this is being lost as new generations come along, losing touch with
southern heritage, or were never in touch to begin with. I can remember all my life, spending time
with the older generations and hearing stories and “sayin’s” that have become
part of my own vocabulary. My Pa-Paw
Calhoun was probably one of the most colorful individuals that I have ever
known and the number of “sayin’s” that have come from his mouth I can’t begin
to count. We sat down one summer, my dad
and brothers and I, and we wrote down some of the things that Pa-Paw has said
over the years, and we just absolutely cracked up. It was funny, partly because you would have
to be from the South to appreciate them, but you would have also had to lived
on a farm to understand them as well. I
find myself using a lot of those same “sayin’s” and it’s a part of my southern
heritage that I hope to never lose and to pass down to my children and
grandchildren, especially since cultural dilution is becoming more prevalent in
our society today.
Of course I
couldn’t conclude this article without sharing some of my personal favorite
“sayin’s” and providing some explanation as to what they mean for those of you
who may not understand. Here we go (it’s
like a Top Ten List of Southern Sayin’s):
1) “Show
‘em where Tony hit the wedge!” In other
words, prove to everybody that you can do it.
2) “Get
on it like ugly got on ape!” or “Dive on it like a dog on a bone!” Same meaning for both. Whatever you do, do it with enthusiasm.
3) “He’s
wanderin’ around like a blind dog in a meathouse!” or “He don’t know if he’s
comin’ or goin’!” Best description would
be that someone is confused about something.
4) “He
tore out like Fisick’s house cat!” In
other words he left in a hurry. “He hit Bush
River!” is another one with a similar meaning.
5) “Tight
as Dick’s hat band!” This could refer to
something that won’t come loose like a bolt or a screw. Or could refer to a person who doesn’t like
to spend money.
6) “Hot
and dry; spittin’ up dust!” or “Dry as a powder house!” Usually these expressions refer to the
weather or if you’ve been working hard and you’re feeling a little dehydrated.
7) “The
wind blowed it out!” Pa-Paw would say
this if he was cutting wood and for one reason or other his chainsaw would quit
running.
8) “I
could eat the hind-end out of a rag doll!”
This one’s a tad off-colored but funny to me. This is a simple reference to being
absolutely “starved-to-death.”
9) “It
came a real side-swarper” In other
words, it came a bad storm.
“Side-swarper” can be substituted for “gully-washer” or
“toad-strangler.”
10) “That’s
good for what ails ye!” Refers to
anything that tastes good. Usually
referring to a dessert such as ice cream.
I hope you have found my meanderings and ponderings as
entertaining to read as I did writing them.
Until next time!